Ways to Keep a Loved One’s Memory Alive After They Pass

When somebody close to us passes away, we are left with constant reminders of them. Maybe it is a jacket hanging in the closet that still bears the scent of their cologne, a dog-eared book on their nightstand, their handwriting on a scrap of paper, a bench where they sat and fed the ducks, or the coffee cup they always used.

At times, something small—such as a phrase they used, the smell of their favorite flower, their empty place at the dinner table, or a song they loved—can trigger powerful memories and imbue the moment with their presence, reminding us that they are gone but never forgotten.

We all deal with death differently. Some of us are content with these private, persistent reminders that help keep a loved one’s memory alive. Others want to create a tangible item to remember them by that can be displayed and shared.

There are many ways to turn memories into mementos and honor a beloved friend’s or family member’s passing. These tributes can also be a creative and strategic way to use estate assets. Planning ahead provides your loved ones with more flexibility in using your money and property for dedications, and memorials. A well-thought-out plan can even set aside money for such purposes.

Personalizing Death

Where—and how—Americans find meaning in life has changed in recent years. These shifts can be seen not only in how we live but also in how we choose to say goodbye.

A growing number of families are seeking alternatives to traditional funerals, which they may see as dark or gloomy. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, rates of cremation are rising, burial rates are declining, and more families are opting for “innovative and personalized services.”^[1]

People increasingly want funerals that reflect the unique life of the deceased. This includes incorporating hobbies, passions, and personal preferences into the service, such as green and alternative funeral options and non-traditional funeral locations. Choice Mutual says that the trend toward eco-friendly and alternative funeral options “reflects a growing environmental consciousness and a desire for more . . . meaningful end-of-life ceremonies.”^[2]

With religion and religious observances on the decline, many people do not want a funeral. Celebration of life services that emphasize personal stories and memories are gaining traction. These services often incorporate touches such as the deceased’s favorite music, photos, hobbies, and shared stories.

Even among those who prefer a more traditional burial, there is a shift toward personalized memorials, including headstones etched with portraits and even virtual tombstones and QR codes linked to digital stories.

Cost may also influence some of these choices. The median cost of a funeral with a casket and burial is around $8,000, while an alternative cremation casket and urn can cost around $6,000.^[3] A majority of Americans told Choice Mutual that they rely on life insurance or burial insurance to cover funeral costs.^[4] Fewer rely on personal funds or prepaid burial plan options.^[5]

Beyond the Gravestone: Thoughtful Tributes to Memorialize a Loved One

If you ever sit on a park bench that bears an inscription memorializing a nature-loving local, you may find yourself wondering about them and their life. The inscription might also inspire you to do something special for someone you love.

Here are some heartfelt and creative ways to celebrate a loved one’s memory:

• Display photos. Photos on your phone can be given a newfound meaning and purpose in a display that tells the story of a dearly departed. Use a traditional picture frame, set up a digital frame that displays multiple photos as a slideshow, or create a gallery wall with multiple shots from your loved one’s travels, family milestones, and quiet everyday moments that defined them.
• Make a donation. Buildings and exhibitions that bear the names of affluent, generous citizens are beyond the financial means of most families, but there are other meaningful—and affordable—ways to honor a loved one’s memory. Consider a donation in their name to a place they loved visiting or volunteering at, such as a zoo, animal shelter, or place of worship.
• Volunteer your time. You might not know much about Mom’s weekly shifts at the shelter, but now that she is gone, you can reconnect with her—and build new connections—by volunteering yourself and carrying on the work she cared deeply about.
• Plant a tree or garden. In lieu of sending flowers, plant some A memorial garden or tree planted in honor of a loved one, perhaps on family land or in a community park they frequented, creates a living legacy. Add a plaque with their name or a quote they lived by and choose plants tied to their personality or specific memories.
• Create a memory book or scrapbook. Sorting through and cleaning out the belongings of a deceased loved one can be physically burdensome and emotionally draining. To help process your grief and turn these leftover items into meaningful reminders, collect photos, letters, and other odds and ends for a memory book or scrapbook.
• Transform ashes into keepsakes. Scattering your loved one’s ashes in a special location is one way to experience Another option is to have their ashes turned into a keepsake, such as cremation jewelry, an ornament, a paperweight, artwork, or a cremation tattoo.
• Start a scholarship fund in their name. For a loved one who championed education or a specific cause, a scholarship or grant funded in their name lets them continue to make a positive impact on the lives of others.
• Cook up a recipe book. The sense of smell is uniquely linked to memory and can spark a strong emotional reaction. Pay homage to a loved one who cherished special meals by compiling their favorite recipes into a book to share with family and friends that makes reconnecting as easy as following the steps and measurements.
• Commission custom artwork. Turn their intangible essence into a tangible work of art. It could be a portrait or poem reflecting their love of nature that you attach to a favorite tree; a piece dedicated to a local library they visited; a book crafted from letters and recordings; a painting, sculpture, or digital artwork inspired by their life; or photos woven into a slideshow that tells their story.
• Create mementos from their belongings. When your loved one passes away, they leave behind all their worldly possessions, including their clothes. Instead of throwing away or donating all their clothing, consider repurposing a few meaningful pieces as blankets or stuffed animals that can be given to loved ones.

For additional inspiration and discussion on how to remember your loved one, schedule a meeting with us today. We can also work together to create an estate plan that will allow your memory to live on for generations to come.

To learn more about estate administration and the role of the Successor Trustee or Personal Representative, keep an eye on our Events page located at: https://www.wagnerlegalmn.com/events/.

If need assistance after a loved one has passed, or you would like to discuss your estate plan, please contact us to get started.

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^[1] U.S. Cremation Rate Is Projectd to Climb to 61.9% in 2024, NFDA (July 25, 2024), https://nfda.org/news/media-center/nfda-news-releases/id/8944/us-cremation-rate-is-projected-to-climb-to-619-in-2024.

^[2] Anthony Martin, 2024 Survey Results: Alternative Burial Options & Preferences Across America, Choice Mutual (Jan. 10, 2025), https://choicemutual.com/blog/funeral-preferences.

^[3] Statistics, NFDA (Sept. 24, 2024), https://nfda.org/news/statistics.

^[4] Martin, supra note 2.

^[5] Id.