‘Til Death Do Us Part, Too: Estate Planning Tips for Commitment Without Marriage

Introduction

More couples than ever are building deep, lasting relationships without ever walking down the aisle. Whether by choice, circumstance, or principle, many Americans are opting out of marriage—but not out of commitment. Data indicate that cultural norms regarding marriage in the United States have undergone significant shifts over the past several decades. Consider the following:

• The number of unmarried partners in the United States more than tripled between 1996 and 2018, from 6 million to 19 million.^[1]
• Among adults aged 30 and younger, 12 percent were living with an unmarried partner in 2019, compared with 5 percent in 1995.^[2]
• The percentage of US households headed by married couples as of 2024 (47 percent) was at its second-lowest point since the US Census Bureau began tracking marital status in 1940.^[3]

However, the law has not kept pace with modern relationships.

Why Estate Planning Matters for Unmarried Partners

Minnesota law gives priority to spouses and blood relatives when determining medical decision‑makers, financial agents, and heirs. That means an unmarried partner is often legally invisible. Without written instructions, a partner may be shut out of the hospital room, unable to access accounts to pay bills, or at risk of losing the home you built together. Estate planning closes these gaps by clearly naming the people you trust and giving them the legal authority to act.

Revocable Living Trusts

A Revocable Living Trusts is one of the strongest ways to protect one another—during life, during incapacity, and after death. A trust allows you to manage your assets while you’re well, appoint a trusted successor trustee if you cannot handle your affairs, and control how everything is distributed after your death.

Trusts are particularly helpful for unmarried partners because they reduce court involvement, maintain privacy, and allow you—not state law—to decide who inherits. In blended families, real estate co‑ownership, or long‑term partnerships, trusts help avoid disputes and provide clarity.

Wills and Pour-Over Wills

A last will and testament is still a foundational estate planning tool. It names a personal representative, directs where property goes, and—if you have minor children—names a guardian. A pour‑over will works with your trust to ensure any assets left outside the trust are directed back into it.

For unmarried couples, wills help prevent the default rules of intestacy from excluding a long‑term partner entirely. More information is available about Wills & Estate Planning.

Beneficiary Designations

Accounts that allow beneficiary designations—like life insurance, retirement accounts, and many financial accounts—will pass directly to whoever you’ve listed. That’s why reviewing these regularly is crucial. Outdated beneficiaries (such as parents, siblings, or former partners) can unintentionally override your estate plan.

Depending on your goals, you may even name a trust as beneficiary to provide tax protection, creditor safeguards, or financial management for your partner.

Incapacity Planning: Powers of Attorney, Advance Directives, HIPAA

Planning for medical and financial decision‑making is essential. Without legal documents, courts fall back on default priority lists—and unmarried partners are rarely included.

Key documents include:

• Medical Power of Attorney — naming the person who can make healthcare decisions.
• Financial Power of Attorney — authorizing someone to manage accounts, bills, and legal matters.
• Advance Directive — outlining your preferences for end‑of‑life care.
• HIPAA Authorization — allowing trusted people to access medical information.

These documents ensure your partner isn’t pushed aside during critical moments. For more information, check out Powers of Attorney & Advance Directives.

Securing Your Future Together

Estate planning for unmarried partners isn’t about formality—it’s about protection. With the right documents in place, you can decide who speaks for you, who manages your affairs, and who inherits what you’ve built together. A thoughtful plan reduces stress, avoids conflict, and ensures your wishes are respected.

To learn more about estate planning, keep an eye on our Events page located at: https://www.wagnerlegalmn.com/events/.

If you’re ready to start being proactive about your estate plan, contact us to get started.

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Working with an experienced estate planning attorney helps bring clarity and peace of mind so you can focus on your life together, knowing you’re protected.

[1] Mike Schneider, Unmarried partners in US have tripled in 2 decades, AP News (Sept. 24, 2019), https://apnews.com/article/848605aad88a418c9b606c0f745ae33f.

[2] Juliana Menasce Horowitz et al., The landscape of marriage and cohabitation in the U.S., Pew Rsch. Ctr. (Nov. 6, 2019), https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/11/06/the-landscape-of-marriage-and-cohabitation-in-the-u-s/.

[3] How has marriage in the US changed over time?, USAFacts (Feb. 11, 2025), https://usafacts.org/articles/state-relationships-marriages-and-living-alone-us/.